Death of an Angel
by mysterious advisor
Summary: But I didn’t shout out, even if my body was stained and bruised, even if my back felt as if it was on flames. I couldn’t react, I couldn’t think, I couldn’t scream my pain… because my pain was you. please review!


I do not own Angel Sanctuary!

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"Anael…

As I stand here, in the middle of the darkness I can only see you beautiful face. Even if my eyes are dead and destined to never see the light again, I know that I cancatch a glimpse ofyour fair hair, your sparkling blue eyes… your slender body that always accepted to be held and caressed by my arms and hands…

I feel you close to me… I can almost hear your heartbeat… I feel your fear… You are surrounded by darkness and your whispers practically beg me for strength and protection. And I give them to you. I give everything to you, just the way I used to years ago… Years ago, when I loved and treasured you more than my own life… Years ago when I had you, my beautiful angel, to show me my path and keep my sanity intact.

When I discovered my murder, I wanted to destroy everything in the way. I wanted to kill Sevotharte for forcing me to do such a horrible thing. I wanted to destroy the entire Heaven, to show these criminals that call themselves angels what has become of them. I wanted to die! Yes, Anael, I wanted to die because I knew that I couldn't go further without you. The eternal life of my angelic self was too long and already destined to be filled with pain and grief. I knew that it was too much and I knew that I couldn't walk through it without you standing by my side… without you being there in the middle of the night… without you always telling me, assuring me that everything was going to be alright…

But then, I went straight to the laboratory where you had worked for so long… and I saw Sevotharte's greatest crime: he had taken the child that you carried and had it under supervision. That was the moment when I wished for his death and probably fall into the dark Hell. I know that angels should bann such thoughts, but I couldn't possibly forget what he had done, I couldn't forgive him under any circumstance! As if that unborn child, my child, had sensed my hatred, it died. It died and left me completely alone, this time even without the hope of keeping your memory.

I was devastated. I felt that the world, my world had truly come to an end. And when I knew that death was just a breath away, that light embraced me once again. I looked above and saw Seraphita, Adam Kadamon. He announced me that the child's heart had started beating again… that our child was still alive… and that thiscould only be called "a miracle", even in the world of angels.

For the first time, I felt of wave of hope rushing into my soul and I knew that someday I would be able to revenge your death, that I would show the entire Heaven just who Sevotharte really is… and what he is capable of…

I knew that I couldn't take the child out of that laboratory… not just yet. So I waited for years and years. I watched him grow among those strange machines. I watched his eyes and hair turn into the same colours as yours. I saw him becoming your son and mine.

And when the time was right, I took him away from that unholy place, I gave him new clothes, I taught him everything I knew, I gave him a life… I prepared him for that unstoppable moment… the moment when I was going to be caught and killed…andwhen he was going to be the leader of the Anima Mundi. Him… Raziel… your son and mine…

And that day came without delay. Setsuna made a childish mistake and gave me away. I don't blame him. My end had to be triggered by someone and I preferred him to do it, instead of anyone else.

As my wings were cut down by the Prime Minister himself, I could only think of you, my love. I knew that any shout of mine would be considered a sign of victory for him, through whichhe would havemanaged to destroy my will and mind. But I didn't shout out in pain, even if my body was stained and bruised, even if my back felt as if it was on fire. I couldn't react, I couldn't think, I couldn't shout out my pain… because my pain was you. In my worst moments, I had always thought at your beautiful face, at your clear eyes, at your soul that was destined to be by my side, always. And now, now I could only remember the last look in your eyes, your last words… I lived through my memories once again.

And then, when I started feeling an insatiable hunger for angel flesh, I could only pray that I would die faster, that I would completely be gone from this kingdom that should belong to God. And I ate, I killed, I drank everything that would fall into my hands… until I tasted his blood… your blood.

I stopped and looked at him. It was Raziel. He had come for me, hoping that I hadremained the same man that raised him. But Ihad not. I was nothing else than a criminal to both worlds: Heaven and Hell. I touched his face and understood the meaning of his tears. He loved me and, inside his soul, he had always known who I really was. Not just a mentor, not just a supperior officer… but a father.

I remembered everything once again and, this time, only in front of my son, allowed my confession to be heard. I could no longer hide my desire to let him know of his true lineage. I could not hold the silence and I had no desire to do that anymore. So I spoke… I spoke of you… of me… of him… I spoke of everything that has brought me to that pityful state. My wings were gone… so was the rest of my so-called humanity. There was nothing holy and beautiful about me anymore. Just like there isn't now either. I am but an old angel, once known under the name of Zaphkiel, once considered one of the greatest angels in Heaven… once in love with a beautiful creature with the name of Anael… you, my dear.

So, I find myself in the middle of this infinite darkness… lost… unsure of which way to go…

I see you in front of me… I feel your heart… I hear your whispers… AndI embrace you… I embrace the darkness and I feel…

Tell me, tell me that all good angels have a place of their own even after their disappearance from the Kingdom of Heaven. Tell me that I will find you there! I do not care if it is another Heaven or the burning Hell. I do not care if a thousand years of physical pain wait for me. I do not care if I die a million times… Not if you are there, by my side, as always…

Hold me, my love. Hold me as you once used to. Hold my head in your lap, caress my dark hair and tell me that we will always be together, no matter what. Tell me that you will receive me after all these years… after all my sins… Allow me to love you until the end of time! Come by my side!"

"But I am already here, my love. Can't you feel?"

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Sorry, I couldn't help myself and I had to write this. It's sad. I know, but, in my opinion, so was the love between Zaphkiel and Anael. And, in case you didn't notice, they are another one of my favourite couples from Angel Sanctuary. Now, I would like to say that English isn't my first language, so please don't flame me for grammar and spelling mistakes. I know I have quite a few. Still, I don't mind if your click the button below and write me review. As a matter of fact, I encourage you to do so. 'Til next time!


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